we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
