JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
