just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
