I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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