fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
