whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
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