so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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