She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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