oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
