Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
