Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
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