We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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