There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
