I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
