I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
