I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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