god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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