accomplished twins. life is a go
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
