You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
