need another drink. this is the easiest way
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
