Welp...herpes.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
