the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize