He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
