Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
