No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
