I love black thongs
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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