Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
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