What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize