Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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