So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
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Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
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We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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