I think im going to throw up on grandma
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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