You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
