remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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