I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Randomize
