real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
