I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
