im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
