Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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