You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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