where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
