plz talk dirty to me
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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