Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Let's paint friendship bongs
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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