i just had sex bonerless
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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