Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
