I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
