i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize