i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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