So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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