ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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