No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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