Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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