I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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