I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
