You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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