If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Are my feet made of real feet?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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