Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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