Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize