smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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