She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
that may or may not have been my penis.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
