Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize